Feedback from Fear

I was talking today with Holly, who came along to a group Equine Assisted Learning session specifically for women that I co-facilitated last year in Byron Bay. 

I asked what she remembered about the day and if it had bearing on her life since. She described the experience as having huge impact, and how it has stayed with her, six months later. 

“ I went in to the session with an open mind,  willing to go along with whatever came up.  I had only met a horse three times before in my life and was not expecting the fear I felt when asked to go into the field to meet the horses.  It was a real eye opener when Coco came right up to me and I froze not knowing what to do. I think she sensed my tense body and also did not know what to do. She gave me a little bite on my arm and I could feel it through my jacket.  I did not react – I was frozen to the spot. Not reacting or taking action was a very new feeling for me.  In the business world, as Director of a Marketing Company, I am constantly thinking on the spot, making decisions and I am very action oriented. 

I have thought a lot about that day and I think that my fear drew a negative response from her, she noticed and reacted to the fear. It was physical feedback that I would never get in the corporate world and will never forget.  People feedback comes with their personal agendas, beliefs and filters, so it is hard to determine what is true.  This experience made me look at a lot of things I avoid and the things I protect myself from.  Whenever I feel out of my comfort zone and notice the fear creeping in, I think it is never going to be like that day.  I would love to do more work with the horses so I can continue this personal learning. “

Thanks Holly for such an honest reflection and for throwing yourself fully into each of the equine experiments on the day.  I love this photo of Holly looking so joyful in a later exercise with Shani, the littlest member of the herd, in a leading exercise.